I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If I die, sorry about rent.
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