So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
