Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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