im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh god it's open bar.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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