At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
