If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
