i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
