they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm both gender and math confused
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
