Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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