I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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