ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
