You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
