Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
