i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
