he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
