Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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