Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
