Im at strip club and am horny
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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