i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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