I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize