at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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