im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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