Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize