im drinking this country out of the recession.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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