Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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