she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
