I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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