he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize