i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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