so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
