Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
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Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
that is very illegal...i love you.
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