I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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