it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
