ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize