i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
