im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
that is very illegal...i love you.
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