I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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