Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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