Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
