How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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