Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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