I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
