areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
