so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
