That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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