shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
home. puking in laundry basket.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
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My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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