I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
