did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
