yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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