You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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