I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
