hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
