you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
