my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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