Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
