Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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