so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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