It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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