i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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