no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
