He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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