I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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