You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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