Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
