are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
